Saturday, July 21, 2007
went sentosa today. was supposed to go to the beach and get myself tanned, but it was bloody raining there. so i went UNDERWATER WORLD with them. i cried at the sight of SNAKES outside that and my mother was laughing her head out of her when she saw me crying about the snakes, she didnt know i have phobia with snakes, since young.
kids were as noisy and ya, it was actually quite interesting to see those marine lifes. they are so cute and ya, like cute. there was this one particular school of fish that triggered my thoughts on quite a lot of things that are happening currently. so yup, nice trip to sentosa today.
and i wanted to leave sentosa through the Sentosa Express. but there was bloody so much pple that the queue extended all the way to about 6 shops away? so i quit, i didnt want to wait that long just to experience that. i have MORE THAN ENOUGH CHANCES TO, after my Os. so i went to take the bus out.
and when i reaached harbourfront, there was this guy, dont look like singaporean, but he was queueing in front of me in the sales card machine at the mrt station. then he was buying a standard ticket to Tiong Bahru and he kept putting 10 dollar note inside. but the machine alr had notice that there'll not be change given for more than 3 dollars. i guess he didnt see. so i tapped him and told him that, he smiled at me. haha. he look cute la, goodness sake. lol.
and i went back to cck to meet yilong to go woodlands for that performing arts' performance at woodlands civics. and ya, talked on the way, about his sentosa and a little of my sentosa.
it was almost like another school day there cause almost all teachers were there, and that i see almost everyone. hahha. so yup, i was like, crazy over like, EH YOU GOT COME or something like that la. hahaa. crazyness, but its totally random, i dont know why i was so high also. we only managed to hear enka volume one and a last tiny winy part of asian selections.
after all that was choir, dance and indian orchestra. & went back to school with them and ate dinner, and here i am, back at home.
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if that was a form of protest and showing off, i guess it didnt help at all cause i wasnt affected at all. perhaps i was, i was really affected by the fact that you cant stay single for some time, maybe that just goes to show how desperate you are to be not single. i really do see no point in you showing off, perhaps you didnt want to, perhaps it was on purpose, perhaps it wasnt. but i cant be bothered. perhaps i was bothered, i was bothered by the fact that i actually saw you. that i tried not to see you for that past 4 months. but well, time healed everything. that explains totally, how i cant be bothered, perhaps like the way how you were to me. it doesnt matter to me anymore cause ya, i know i left you for a good and good and good reason and that ya, that after i leave you that i will have peace in my life and i will still be the happy me. and i did it. i am having peace now, and i am still that happy me. you didnt make that much of a difference to me. perhaps at that time you did. but i couldnt be bothered now.
perhaps you didnt mean to be showing off, but i felt that i saw that, everything. i knew you didnt want to, but somehow i still felt that way. perhaps thats the whole reason why you are moving off, further and further. but i hope we would still be what we were last time. all my reasons, you know why, you really do know why. i dont like that idea of you pushing me to someone else when you really do know the obvious and that all the truth is right in front of you, yet you push me away and yet, you know you are that someone else, but you dont want to admit. perhaps you have your reasons, i know you have, i believe you have, because i trust you. its okay, i dont expect anything. because im slowly, starting to lose hope and fall apart. i dont want to associate you with 'perhaps', that word is not enough to describe me and you. if you want to leave, you are allowed to, i didnt take control of you in the first place. you were, you are and you will be free to do anything to your liking, afterall.
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i'm just a little confused, thats why i ranted a little bit too much.
i'm tired, i want to go and rest. i need to rest. i'm too tired. somemore, there's whole day studying tmr, i need energy! off, tata. x)
8:51 PM & life, said so.
