i just got home from the band camp at unity. and i just suddenly realised how important this bunch of people are to me, cause there were too much laughter and tears together with them. and i have to say, i'm actually damn pissed off that my parents dont allow me to stay over at the camp. for whatever reason that they have, i still think that i'm being much grounded at home ever since i'm back from Germany. even they were asking me, "huh you mean you're not staying today?" and i can only give that helpless look that says "YES I CANNOT STAY OVER."
that me, was lost i think. i really missed it too much. life now is too hectic that i need to escape to my old good friends. but they dont understand and there is also no point in telling them cause whatever i say gets hit back and i get nothing in the end, so there is just no point. and i dont see why i have to think of lame excuses to make them allow me to stay over after the reunion dinner tmr (which i may not be even going because i think i might be going to the 122 party). but just.
i feel like a bird who lost its wings and i can no longer fly, like how i used to be. and this feeling is too overwhelming. i dont know what they are thinking off. what i want, is just my freedom to be with my friends (like how i used to have) again. thats not a too big request i guess. i just lost that freedom after i'm back. and this makes me feel damn idiotic.
wherever i go, whatever i do, you poke into it like forever your business. i'm sick of this!
(however emo is not the word i'm going to use.)
