i just read mag's blog. archives on april and may 2007 selectively. too many good memories. really, too memorable. because you were included. i admit, when i saw the photos, i melted. that little part in my heart melted. i hoped too much, rather, i wasn't really supposed to be in the position to hope in the first place, because i was nothing. then i came back to my blog and read my archives on april and may 2007 selectively. i saw those photos. and i melted all over again. because there you were, smiling happily in the photo. melted, and i froze again.
i thought, if i dont ever freeze myself to you, i might never have the chance to anymore. i had long wanted to break free from this whirlpool. this odd situation. i didn't really want to give up rather. but, there's nothing i can do since i'm stuck here. really. i feel terrible sometimes. but i dont wake up in the middle of the night to cry over you. you know i'm not like this. you know, because you've seen my past reactions for my past relationships.
do you still remember the last time we saw each other? its not too long ago, if you still remember. i dont know, you know i had a feeling, i really wanted to hug you when we got all alone. but i didnt afterall. i dont know what will happen next if i hugged you. it'll be and ultimate awkwardness if i really did.
let that series of blankness be whatever you want me to tell you. just let it be a platform of me saying whatever i want to. i'm really feeling terrible. ha, but i just really want to laugh it off. i really need to. call me mad if you want. thats what you call me last time.
i need to freeze myself from you.
thats what want to say. i dont know if i can really do it. but, i'll try to. i need to.
take care, love.
-
do all those things that we said in the past still stands?
all those that you owe me, they wouldnt fade, will they?
Labels: no more you
