Tuesday, November 06, 2007
i just read mag's blog. archives on april and may 2007 selectively. too many good memories. really, too memorable. because you were included. i admit, when i saw the photos, i melted. that little part in my heart melted. i hoped too much, rather, i wasn't really supposed to be in the position to hope in the first place, because i was nothing. then i came back to my blog and read my archives on april and may 2007 selectively. i saw those photos. and i melted all over again. because there you were, smiling happily in the photo. melted, and i froze again.
i thought, if i dont ever freeze myself to you, i might never have the chance to anymore. i had long wanted to break free from this whirlpool. this odd situation. i didn't really want to give up rather. but, there's nothing i can do since i'm stuck here. really. i feel terrible sometimes. but i dont wake up in the middle of the night to cry over you. you know i'm not like this. you know, because you've seen my past reactions for my past relationships.
do you still remember the last time we saw each other? its not too long ago, if you still remember. i dont know, you know i had a feeling, i really wanted to hug you when we got all alone. but i didnt afterall. i dont know what will happen next if i hugged you. it'll be and ultimate awkwardness if i really did.
let that series of blankness be whatever you want me to tell you. just let it be a platform of me saying whatever i want to. i'm really feeling terrible. ha, but i just really want to laugh it off. i really need to. call me mad if you want. thats what you call me last time.
i need to freeze myself from you.
thats what want to say. i dont know if i can really do it. but, i'll try to. i need to.
take care, love.
-
do all those things that we said in the past still stands?
all those that you owe me, they wouldnt fade, will they?
i thought, if i dont ever freeze myself to you, i might never have the chance to anymore. i had long wanted to break free from this whirlpool. this odd situation. i didn't really want to give up rather. but, there's nothing i can do since i'm stuck here. really. i feel terrible sometimes. but i dont wake up in the middle of the night to cry over you. you know i'm not like this. you know, because you've seen my past reactions for my past relationships.
do you still remember the last time we saw each other? its not too long ago, if you still remember. i dont know, you know i had a feeling, i really wanted to hug you when we got all alone. but i didnt afterall. i dont know what will happen next if i hugged you. it'll be and ultimate awkwardness if i really did.
let that series of blankness be whatever you want me to tell you. just let it be a platform of me saying whatever i want to. i'm really feeling terrible. ha, but i just really want to laugh it off. i really need to. call me mad if you want. thats what you call me last time.
i need to freeze myself from you.
thats what want to say. i dont know if i can really do it. but, i'll try to. i need to.
take care, love.
-
do all those things that we said in the past still stands?
all those that you owe me, they wouldnt fade, will they?
Labels: no more you
10:47 PM & life, said so.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
edited.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY DEAREST PEIQI LAOPO!
heehee. sheng ri kuai le! yeeeeha! lol. i dunno what you want huh, i owe you first. IM CURRENTLY, BROKE.
donuts. ((:
mei mei, me and peiqi!
peiqi, mei mei and me! i really love this photo.
me and ky. haha.
okay la, gtg.
-
i really cant take it as though nothing ever happened.
i really broke when i saw you. but i just dont want to admit that i am sad.
i cant view you as the way i viewed you last time, cause its different now.
tears blurred my vision thoroughly.
i pretended that i saw nothing,
but yet i'm being hurt so badly that i dont want anything else to happen.
meanwhile i pretended i saw nothing,
i thought i would be okay.
who knew i fell even harder than how i was supposed to fall.
i cried, i really cried.
i know you'll be there. thanks.
perhaps it helped to a certain extent, and it didn't otherwise.
i cant let go actually, but i had to.
i told myself to.
perhaps, all i needed was you to tell me that you ever liked me,
& it'll just be enough for me to let go of you,
immediately.
-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY DEAREST PEIQI LAOPO!
heehee. sheng ri kuai le! yeeeeha! lol. i dunno what you want huh, i owe you first. IM CURRENTLY, BROKE.
donuts. ((:
mei mei, me and peiqi!
peiqi, mei mei and me! i really love this photo.
me and ky. haha.
okay la, gtg.
-
i really cant take it as though nothing ever happened.
i really broke when i saw you. but i just dont want to admit that i am sad.
i cant view you as the way i viewed you last time, cause its different now.
tears blurred my vision thoroughly.
i pretended that i saw nothing,
but yet i'm being hurt so badly that i dont want anything else to happen.
meanwhile i pretended i saw nothing,
i thought i would be okay.
who knew i fell even harder than how i was supposed to fall.
i cried, i really cried.
i know you'll be there. thanks.
perhaps it helped to a certain extent, and it didn't otherwise.
i cant let go actually, but i had to.
i told myself to.
perhaps, all i needed was you to tell me that you ever liked me,
& it'll just be enough for me to let go of you,
immediately.
-
Labels: no more you
11:18 AM & life, said so.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
errrm. i guess i just came online to check email inbox and this dead blog for now? i think so. i'm getting busy alr! arrrgh. nightmare is coming.
PRELIMS in 039 days.
O LEVEL in 081 days.
terriful, and whatever bad emotional adjective that can be put in there. i dont know. i'm trying to bury myself in all these studies. i'm getting emo. i dont want to. i really dont want to. i want that ME back then again lah. i'm getting so sick of myself and my life.
SOMEONE, JUST COME AND STAB ME TO DEATH, and please, make sure i die cause i dont want to suffer.
mock exams and mock exams and nothing, BUT again, mock exams. rawr. i'm getting really really so sick. but i know this is ALL FOR MY OWN GOOD if i want good grades. i want mei mei's life! GOOD SLEEP & GOOD GRADES. wpiang, how on earth she do that man. LOL.
-
perhaps its really time to give up.
no more disturbance.
no more irritatings.
no more pesterings.
no more hellos-and-byes.
no more late night calls.
no more related to you.
no more in your view.
no more within your reach.
no more you.
-
okay lah, go and study for my CHEMISTRY MOCK PAPER already. oh man, chem, AGAIN.
=.=
PRELIMS in 039 days.
O LEVEL in 081 days.
terriful, and whatever bad emotional adjective that can be put in there. i dont know. i'm trying to bury myself in all these studies. i'm getting emo. i dont want to. i really dont want to. i want that ME back then again lah. i'm getting so sick of myself and my life.
SOMEONE, JUST COME AND STAB ME TO DEATH, and please, make sure i die cause i dont want to suffer.
mock exams and mock exams and nothing, BUT again, mock exams. rawr. i'm getting really really so sick. but i know this is ALL FOR MY OWN GOOD if i want good grades. i want mei mei's life! GOOD SLEEP & GOOD GRADES. wpiang, how on earth she do that man. LOL.
-
perhaps its really time to give up.
no more disturbance.
no more irritatings.
no more pesterings.
no more hellos-and-byes.
no more late night calls.
no more related to you.
no more in your view.
no more within your reach.
no more you.
-
okay lah, go and study for my CHEMISTRY MOCK PAPER already. oh man, chem, AGAIN.
=.=
Labels: emoistic., no more you
7:47 PM & life, said so.
